Warner's TheoBlog

Thoughts from a disciple who writes


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You found me

I have thought long and hard about whether I should put this Psalm on my blog. I really don’t want people to think that I am on the edge of depression or about to lose my mind. I am not. But, at the same time, I know that my thoughts can become quite bleak and melancholy.

I was recently asked a question – “How would your life would look if I had not met Jesus?” I cannot imagine that, without Jesus, I would lose myself to a life of drugs and debauchery, but I can imagine that, without Jesus, my life would be dark, introspective and deeply negative, philosophically and spiritually. Father God gives meaning and shape to my life. Without him, I would simply be purposeless and lost because, as I look around the world, watch the news and hear the stories of people’s lives, I find little hope or relief from the state of humanity. The poor and humble are stamped on for the good of the powerful and well off. Everything is the same as it has always been. For every hopeful moment of progress there seems to be the same or more injustice and pain for the vast majority of the human race. The only real hope for the world is in Jesus.

This Psalm is the result of my cogitation based on that question. Whilst it starts quite darkly (although this is severely edited from the original 4 pages), it is not dark… it is full of hope. Read the second half first if you like.

A Psalm about being known

Without you, I stand alone,

once hopeful life becomes a howling waste.

No consolation in my own importance,

no purpose in life,

overwhelmed by the brief instant of time.

I have been overcome as I realise that,

when the music fades and my life is overtaken by reality,

there is only me for the blink of an eternal eye.

Born to breathe…

Death my inevitable end…

Dust my destination.

Remembered for a generation if I am lucky.

Subject only to the selfish ramblings of others,

using my brief flame as a justification for my own significance.

In truth there is senseless transitory breath.

Each one of us is unique, making it sadder still when we pass away.

Each person is temporary… unrepeated, forever lost.

Life is dust to blow away on the wind.

 

But, you found me.

You found me.

You know my name.

You are my Father.

You found me.

You found me.

You know me by my name.

I am not lost.

 

Insignificant no longer.

Apart from the crowd.

Chosen, called, redeemed…

I am a child of God

Uniquely made,

uniquely saved.

I have a name.

I am my Father’s son.

 

You found me…

I see you.

I recognise you…

Father.

You give life meaning.

In you there is purpose.

In your hand I was formed from dust.

Made so much more… your child.

I don’t understand,

I don’t need to.

I lay down my right

to know and comprehend.

I cannot find meaning without you,

man made boundaries just wont do.

True value is in you.

Only you!

 

I stand in your presence,

breathing deeply,

breathless in the gale of your Spirit.

I am alive!

Holy Spirit blows,

filling my lungs,

tears springing from my eyes,

breathless exhilaration in life.

I am embraced

for no other reason than love.

I am loved!

You know my name.

 

My voice cries out,

no longer lost in the vastness of the universe.

I cry out to my Father,

greeted with raptured attention.

You hear my cry

and respond in love.

My desires are reformed,

My will re-made,

More like Jesus,

No longer just for me.

Illuminated by everlasting love

Shaped by sacrifice and grace.

 

I am alive!

I have a purpose!

I have a reason to breathe,

to speak,

to write,

to live.

No longer an empty universe.

I am loved.

I am cherished.

I am given a purpose.

I belong.

I am yours!

You are mine!

My Father, Mother, Saviour, Friend,

Peace, Grace, Truth, and life.

My everything.

 

You found me.

You found me.

You know my name.

I am your child.

 

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A Psalm of Nigel

This Psalm has already been published on my friends Facebook group, “Write a Psalm a Day”, but I wanted it to be on my blog too. I have become more and more interested in writing short stories and psalms as a method of expressing things to God and so I hope that this might speak to you too.

 

I wait impatiently for the Lord.

He hears my cry, but still I moan.

He sets my feet upon a rock and still I complain.

I cry and weep as time goes by far slower than I would like.

Even though I am certain that He hears me, I say the same things time and again.

I rail against the constraints that he has put on me and I complain often.

 

Yet, my God is patient with me.

He listens, again and again.

My God is patient with me,

even when I am impatient with Him.

He knows me and still He loves me.

He knows me and still He calls me.

And slowly I learn.

There is no one like my God.

 

I know the truth.

God is perfect.

His timing is flawless.

His knowledge is complete.

His actions are matchless.

Even if I have to wait forever,

God’s will WILL be done,

God’s glory WILL be seen.

God’s word WILL go forth.

 

The God I serve is beyond compare.

Nothing in this life even comes close to Him.

He speaks to me with words of comfort and patience.

My Father is always encouraging.

I am his child and He loves me.

 

Who is there like you, O Lord my God?

There is nothing and no one I would rather serve.

I submit to your ways, even if I don’t understand.

Still, I wait impatiently for the Lord… yet, still I wait.

Without His word I will not move a single step.

 

When the prison door opens I will dance into the light!


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Children of God

Revelation!

There comes a time when things click. Something is said or happens and we respond, “Oh! Now I understand. That’s what it means”.

When revelation comes, the whole colour and meaning of the world changes. It is like putting on a pair of spectacles that make the world suddenly clearer. Before, one was hardly aware that the world was out of focus, but when one begins to use spectacles it is impossible to understand how ever one didn’t notice how fuzzy things appeared.

The shepherds had a choir of angels to lead them to the stable where Jesus was born and, after they had seen the new King of kings, they went home singing because their world was forever changed.

The wise men needed a star to guide them to the new born king and, when they had met him and bowed before him, there was no doubt that the whole world would never be the same again.

God had come to humanity, offering a way by which we can be forgiven, reconciled, welcomed and reunited with the Creator of the universe.

“Yet to all who receive him, to those who believe in his name, he gave the right to become children of God – children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husbands will, but born of God” (John 1:12-13)

The revelation of Christmas is simply this.

If we receive Jesus into the world and our lives as the son of God and saviour of the world, then everything changes. We are adopted by God the Father as His children. Not by birth or nature, but by the will and decision of God.

When we welcome Jesus, God welcomes us. Not because we are good or worthy or without sin, and certainly not because he has to welcome us, but because of Jesus. Jesus is our route to God. Jesus is the key that opens the door to the presence of the living, loving God which is otherwise hopelessly locked to us.

I am a child of the living God. I no longer have to be worried about belonging and having a purpose in the world. I am a child of God. I belong to Him. I am wanted by Him. I am welcomed by Him. Nothing else really matters.


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Lord, help me stand

Lord, help me stand.

In the midst of every activity, let me stand.

In the teeth of the gale, let me stand.

Amongst the clamor of voices, let me stand.

When thoughts conflict, let me stand.

When all seems at ease, let me stand.

When I know nothing, let me stand.

When accusations fly, let me stand.

When suspicions are directed toward me, let me stand.

When the waters rise and seem set to engulf me, let me stand.

In the darkness and the cold, let me stand.

In the light and the heat, let me stand.

When I am noticed, let me stand.

When I am ignored, let me stand.

When I am included or pushed out, let me stand.

In the silence and the noise, let me stand.

On your promises and your word, let me stand.

Wherever I am, let me stand.

Let me stand.

Let me stand.

Whatever the world throws at me and if suffering comes.

Whenever and wherever I am.

Please Father, give me the conviction, faith, acceptance, grace, strength, power, peace and knowledge to stand.

And when all else fails… let me stand.

 


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Faith in the promise of God

There are lots of cool things about studying the Bible, but amongst the coolest are those times when a passage that you have read time and again suddenly speaks to you in a fresh way.

In chapter 41 of Genesis, Joseph is standing in front of Pharaoh. He has been taken out of prison, cleaned up and asked to interpret a disturbing dream for the most powerful man in the world at that time. Joseph stands there by the recommendation of the Pharaoh’s own wine attendant, who he had interpreted a dream for two years earlier (see Genesis 40). Joseph makes it clear to Pharaoh that it is not he who has the power to interpret dreams, but that God is the one who interprets dreams and Joseph can only do what God leads him to do (Genesis 41:16).

Pharaoh tells Joseph about his dreams. The first involves 7 emaciated cows swallowing 7 fat cows. The second, 7 thin ears of corn devouring 7 healthy ears of corn. Pharaoh and all of his priests and magicians are stumped by them. It is what Joseph says next that blew me away.

“The reason the dream was given to Pharaoh in two forms is that the matter has been firmly decided by God, and God will do it soon” (Genesis 41:32)

It had never occurred to me before but, when Joseph utters these words about God repeating the dream in different forms because God has firmly decided upon it, he is also declaring his faith in another pair of dreams. (Genesis 37:5-9). As a young man, about 15 years earlier, Joseph had had two prophetic dreams of his own. The first about sheaves of corn and the second about the sun, moon and stars. Joseph himself had interpreted their meaning, much to the anger of his brothers, that he would come to rule over all of his family. In fact, it was as a direct result of these dreams that his brothers faked his death and sold him as a slave. Far from ruling, he now stands before Pharaoh as nothing more than a slave-prisoner.

Yet, Joseph declares with faith that Pharaoh’s dreams are true because he has had the same dream twice in different forms. He implies, therefore, that his own dreams were true for the same reason.

It is the steadfast faith of Joseph in the face of 15 years experience (that seems to prove beyond doubt that he would not rule over anyone, let alone his brothers) that blows me away. Even though it appears at that moment that there is no conceivable way for these dreams to ever become a reality for Joseph, he believes that God spoke the truth through those dreams.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.” (Hebrews 11:1-2)

At no point before the interpretation of Joseph’s dream does it seem likely that his situation will change, and yet he has faith in God’s word for him. Joseph believes that God will fulfill Pharaoh’s dream and that God will fulfill Joseph’s dream. He has heard the promises of God, taken them to heart and now stands on them everyday, whether they look possible or not.

The question is this… what are the promises of God for you and I? We need to listen to God, discern His promises and then stand on them by faith. Our world might not look as if the promises of God have any hope of being fulfilled, or are even real, but that is not the point. The point is faith. All that matters is that God has promised and that what God promises, He does.


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Living by Faith

I have been spending some significant time in Hebrews 11 recently. It is a remarkable chapter of the Bible that sets out the concept of faith and then uses a massive list of people from the Old Testament to illustrate it.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.” (Hebrews 11:1-2)

This is the BIG IDEA.

When God speaks, we need to live by what He says.

This might seem obvious, but it is profound and important and it is key that those of us who are disciples of Jesus don’t just hear what this says, but live too. So I need to say it again.

When God speaks, we who live by faith need to live by what He says. Even if the world that we observe around us does not seem to conform to what God says, we must.

The writer of the Hebrews illustrates his point, time and again and here are just a few of the examples he uses…

  • Abel – offered sacrifice to God, giving the best that he had, even though he could not see the God that he was sacrificing to with his own eyes. He had faith that God existed and was worth the sacrifice.
  • Noah – built an ark in the middle of a desert to protect his family from flood waters that God had promised, even though it was not raining and did not even look as if it would rain at all. He was ridiculed and pilloried, but he had faith that God was right.
  • Abraham – left his home to travel to another country that God had promised, even though there was no certainty that it would all work out. In fact, God promised that the land of Canaan would belong to his family and he never saw the of this promise in his own in his lifetime. He had faith that God would honour the word that He had given and so lived in the reality of God’s promise.
  • Abraham – again, showed that he trusted God more than his own eyes. As an old man he was promised a son and a multitude of descendants, even though it looked impossible in reality. He had faith that God would honour His promise and Sarah gave birth to Isaac in their old age.
  • Abraham – yet again. Took Isaac, his beloved son, to a mountain top and was willing to sacrifice him according to God’s instruction, even though it clearly appeared to be categorically opposed to the word of God for a multitude of descendants. He heard the voice of God and obeyed. He trusted God over and above his own eyes and the good opinion of others.

“All of these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth” (Hebrews 11:13)

These people lived by the words and promises that God gave to them, even when they seemed ridiculous in the eyes of the rest of the world. In many cases, they never even saw God’s promise fulfilled in their own lifetimes, but they trusted, by faith, that God was in charge and would see things come to fruition according to His word and time. They accepted that their faith was alien to the world that they lived in, but they accepted what God said as truth and lived according to it. They were willing to be derided and laughed at by everyone else, simply because God was greater than they or their situation.

SO what about us? Are we willing to live as aliens in our own world and have faith in the promises and word of God over and above our own good, preference or common sense?

Our job, as disciples of Jesus, is not to witness the fulfillment of the word of God. It might not happen in our lifetime and the story of the world is not about us to begin with. Neither is it our job to judge the word that God gives us according to our own preferences and logic. Our job is to live by faith… even when, to all appearances, the thing that we believe to be from God seems impossible or ridiculous.

We are not called to witness God’s act, we are called to be witnesses to God’s word!

By grace, it might be that God allows us to witness the fulfillment of His word in our lives but, if He does not, who are we to argue? If God is God then God’s word is true. Faith is believing this fact, accepting it and then living by it.

I would rather live by the truth of God’s word than by the understanding of the world… In all things. Because I have faith in God most High.

Of course, this stand on faith becomes problematic when what we believe is not believed, or even ridiculed, by the people around us. When the people around us do not believe what we believe or even oppose our faith choice. Just off the top of my head, the world I live in has different beliefs in areas that I believe God teaches particular truth on issues of sexuality, fidelity, marriage, honesty, creation, truth, divinity, faith, power, and so much more. The faith that get from my discipleship in Jesus is derided by our society, the people who rule the media and many of the people that I live among.

The question that I must ask is, “what does God say?” Even if God’s words is opposed to the voice of the many, I know that it is God’s voice I must listen for and, by faith, His path I must follow. Wherever that might lead.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)


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Why do we find it hard to live by faith?

I have really struggled over how to approach new set of blogs that is swishing and swashing around in my head. I want to address the idea of faith. To look at the deceptively simple idea that we need to have the faith to stand on the word of God. I find, however, that I am simply not sure how to get it out there in such a way that my readers might understand. I am not sure I get a full grip on it myself.

The truth that I want to put across is a simple one, yet it is deeply profound. It is something like this…

We must have a faith in God’s words that allows us to live in the truth of them. Not living in the world as it seems to be, but in the world as God says it is.

I am struggling even to convey what I mean in a sentence or two.

Let me try to explain what I am getting at with a series of lists that attempt to illustrate the progress of our thoughts.

First, how it should be…

a)     God speaks

b)    We hear

c)     We live by it

Let me fill it out a bit with an example from Jeremiah 31:3 of how it should work…

a)     God speaks – He says, “I love you with an everlasting love”.

b)    We hear – and think, “I am loved”.

c)     We live – as a person who is loved, in security and peace.

Most often, however, the following is the case…

a)     God speaks – He says, “I love you with an everlasting love”.

b)    We hear – and think, “I am loved”.

c)     We live – in exactly the same was as before.

Most of us live as if we are unloved and so are insecure, defensive and lonely. This is not how God wants us to live. When we hear about the deep and abiding love of God, it is a joyful revelation. What is missing most often, however, is a real acceptance of this revelation that allows us to live by the truth of it as secure, comfortable and blessed people.

It that something happens to us that causes us to hear God’s word and then not live by it. It is not that we ignore the word of God. Nearly all Christians would be able to say, “Jesus loves me”. Rather, it seems that reality as we perceive it hijacks the word of God so that we are unable to live by it. Thus, there are countless Christians who do as follows…

a)     God speaks – He says, “I love you with an everlasting love”.

b)    We hear – and think, “I am loved”.

c)     We live – as defensive people who feel insecure and unloved.

To give the process a bit more detail, I think that what happens is something like this…

a)     God speaks – We hear, “I love you with an everlasting love”.

b)    We hear – and think, “I am loved”.

c)     We live – in a world in which we have always felt unloved and insecure.

d)    We reassess God’s word – and think, “I do not feel loved by God. If I was better then I would be able to believe and live by God’s words. Therefore, it must be because I need to be a better person. How can God love me if I can’t even believe Him?”

e)     We then rewrite God’s words – He seems to say, “I would love to love you with an everlasting love, but you are not good enough”

f)     We hear – and think, “I am not good enough for God’s love”

g)     We live – in a way that does not feel loved and secure and so we set about ‘trying’ to live a better life and feel more loved by God, yet we feel guilty when it does not work.

Our experience of the world around us and our learned behavior seems to overwhelm our faith in what God says.

It is time for a change. We do not need grace to change… we already have that. The second that God declares His love for us we are offered the grace to experience that Love. What we need is faith. Faith in the word of God.

Faith is not simply hearing and believing. It is accepting and living as if it is true even when we find it hard to believe.

a)     God speaks – He says, “I love you with an everlasting love”.

b)    We hear – and think, “I am loved”.

c)     We live – as if we are loved by God’s everlasting love even if we don’t feel like it. We are secure, valued, loved, blessed and all the rest. How do we know? Because God tells us that we are. So we live in peace and faith.

It is so easy to ignore God’s word and promises. It is so easy to justify a life of insecurity and anxiety by saying, I am human. We are children of the living God… we do not need to justify our insecurity and unloved-ness because they are simply not true! WE ARE LOVED!

Where does this lead us? To a life of faith. A life lived in REALITY as it really is… As God says it is.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Heb. 11:1)