Following the previous blog, I wanted to put this online. It is a picture that I had in April 2011 and into which I have been praying over the last couple of years. What I have written here is very much… ‘The picture so far”. I think that it is very much influenced by Isaiah 6, but I believe that God has given this to me as a focus of prayer and faith.
It is my desire to be so close to God that I can discern his voice and feel his closeness. He has invited us all to do so… I am taking Him at His word and intend to get as close as I can…
I see the throne room of God. I walk through the door and come into the presence of Jesus in a huge round room. It is so huge that I cannot see the opposite edge of the room.
In the centre of the room Jesus sits on a throne. He appears to be distant, kingly and majestic. The room is filled with music and worship, declaring the holiness of God and honouring Jesus. There is no doubt that I am in the presence of the Holy Spirit of God.
As I look around I see huge numbers of people standing in the throne room, many around the edge of the enormous round room. They are standing in God’s presence; saved, drinking in the atmosphere of the presence of the living God. They are watching Jesus on the throne but staying where they are. Present but unengaged.
As I look towards the centre of the room, where Jesus sits, I see that there is also a throng of people around the throne.
Between the throne and the edge of the room there are all sorts of people in different proximities to Jesus, many of them worshipping and singing. Some kneeling or prone in a facedown position, others just standing with eyes closed drinking in the atmosphere and presence.
But me? I want to be as close to throne as I can possibly be. From the distance, Jesus seems to be sitting, unmoving but glorious, and I simply want to go as close as I can to Him. I see friends and loved ones at the edge and in various positions, but I don’t want to be with them. I just have an overwhelming desire to be as close to Jesus as I can be.
I begin to walk closer to the throne. It is a massive room and I walk forward gradually, seeing the throne of Jesus grow in its perspective and gaining more clarity on the actions of the people around the throne. As I walk I pass people in different states. Some are worshipping and kneeling and praying; others are simply standing in the presence of Jesus. But I need to keep going. I need to get closer to Jesus. I just want to be in His presence and as close to Him as I can be.
As I draw closer, I begin to see that the people around his throne are not simply standing and worshipping and that Jesus is not simply sitting still being glorious. Rather, they are communicating together. Like the creatures in Isaiah 6, the people are calling to each other, and to Jesus, words about His glory and honour in praise and worship. They are calling to Jesus and telling him things, and Jesus is answering them and teaching.
When I was a long way away, it was as if there was a solid group of people in identical poses all the way to the throne. It seemed as if standing in the presence of God was everything and that everyone wanted to simply stop and be in that overwhelming and wonderful presence of God. But, as I draw closer to the throne, it becomes evident that those who are closest to the throne are not simply standing. They were participating. Jesus is speaking to them and they are speaking to him. And, even though in my head I wonder if I really have the right to get to the front, in my heart I know that I am a son of the living God and have the right to be wherever I want to be in that room.
It will not be a fight to get to the front… it is not like the front of a concert… there is space for me. However, it is up to me where I stand, sit or move. The question is, do I want to draw close or be distant?
I want to get close to Jesus. I want to be undone by His presence and the sound of His voice. I want to be in His presence, forced to fall on my face by the sheer overwhelming joy of his presence and grace. I want to hear His words and see His face and be with Him. I want to be undone. I want to have so much of God that I cry out, ‘no more, I can’t take any more’. And then I want more still. I want to be immersed, overwhelmed, overawed, soaked and drenched, in His presence. I am a son of the most high and living God and I am in my Father’s throne room.
I walk and run through the gaps in the massed throng of people. Closer and closer. Seeing more and more of Jesus and hearing more of His voice. I want to be right at the front. I want to be with Jesus.
I realise that to some of my friends, this will seem like a padded room post. But I hope that this brings encouragement and illumination to others.